Price Of Love
by Devil's Demon
Summary: All is fair in love and war, but what price would you pay to be happy? Sirius Black is haunted with dreams of the past, and a fatal mistake that just might cost him the only thing he ever truly loved.


"_You don't have a choice, boy, you belong to me…" Hollow and lifeless the voice was, but it held a certain confidence that made the one it was directed at, flinch. "Understand me. You have nothing, you're worth nothing, and you are nothing without me!" Piercing red eyes glistened in the dim, flickering firelight and Lord Voldemort stepped out from the shadow of the giant oak tree. With a gesture of his hand a cloaked figure glided towards him, a young boy with a defiant expression. With a flick of his wand the boy fell to his knees, eyes closed in anticipation for the punishment he knew was in store for his rebellion. He didn't have to wait long as a blinding flash of blue ripped through the darkness that encompassed the eroding courtyard, and the young man flopped onto his side on the cold cement. It took all of his strength to not cry out in agony as his body shook, muscles throwing spasms. It seemed like eternity before the pain ceased and the boy could breathe unrestrained once more. The dark lord showed no sympathy as he pulled the boy up to his feet by his hair. Leaning in closely he hissed into the boy's ear, "Bring me…"_

Sirius Black shot straight up, eyes wide and chest heaving. His eyes darted wildly about the corners of his small four poster bed. Reality settled back in, taking most of his anxiety away. He hated that dream, that memory. He wished it was possible to erase the existence of the memory all together, but it wasn't probable. Sighing, he managed to calm his breathing down enough to lie back down. Blinking a few times he focused his gaze on the crimson bed drapes surrounding him and started to evaluate his life. Next week, on the nineteenth of September he would be legally an adult at eighteen years old, and what did he have to show for it? The answer was a nasty mark that had cost him his freedom, along with a wicked memory that had stolen his last shred of innocence. He would enter the adult world, marked or plagued rather. Growling, he rolled back the left sleeve of his night shirt to see the cause of all his sorrow. A dirty looking partial human skull with a fearsome serpent coiled around and through it, fangs bared and ready to strike, stared back at him. He glared at the image for moments longer, before he let the fabric cover it once more in disappointment. "Wanker!  
A shuffling noise from his right side causes Sirius to silently berate himself for his outburst. Waiting, he holds his breath trying to listen with hopes that he didn't manage to wake any of his dorm mates.  
"Sirius, wha' the bloody hell? Why can't you be more normal?" James' voice was deep and raspy, thick with the reminiscence of slumber. Sirius chuckled humorlessly and drew back the curtains around his bed with a flick of his wand. James was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, his eyes only half open. Sirius frowned at his best mate, trying his hardest to give him an apologetic look.  
"Sorry 'bout tha' Jamie." Sirius mumbled, but was cut off from another complaint from the opposite side of the room.  
"Who's the wanker, Padfoot? You weren't by any chance having that dream again?" Sirius didn't have to turn over to realize that the one calling him by his nickname was his other best mate, Remus Lupin. Remus' tone was a tad more worried sounding then James' had been, but that was to be expected. Remus was far more sympathetic then most others. If it was because he himself had gone through quite a bit in his youth, or perhaps that he genuinely cared Sirius was unsure, but it didn't stop him from appreciating it.  
"That was inconsiderate o' me Moony, I didn' mean to wake any o' you." Sirius replied, sitting up. "As for the reason o' the outburst, yea I admit was in thanks to that bloody dream." He sighed and leaned back against the headboard, silently thanking the stars that his friends didn't know exactly what "that dream" entailed.  
James laughed as the fourth and final bed in the dorm issued a rather loud snore. "Know, since in reality we're all up anyways, it would only be fair to 'ave Pete up also." He smiled wickedly as he snatched his quidditch boot from the side of his bed and gave it a good toss towards the covered lump. It hit with enough force to make a loud smacking sound and the rather plump boy popped his head out from under the covers and glanced around wildly. "Wha' was tha'? Wha' I do, Wha' happened?" James howled with laughter at the boy's stunned expression and uncertain tone. Remus shook his head in disapproval.  
"James, was it necessary? It's only seven, we 'ave another hour before breakfast is even ready. You could 'ave allowed him a bit more sleep." That comment sparked an argument between the two that Sirius decided to not participate in. Peter, after realizing that everything was in fact all well, turned over, pulling the blankets over his head and fell back to sleep. The disagreement continued for another five minutes before James cut Remus off in mid sentence by walking out of the dorm, a towel draped over his shoulder. "Impossible. I swear if it doesn't affect him directly, he cares nothing for it." Remus turned to see Sirius tying his shoes, already fully dressed in his uniform. "Are you well, Sy, honestly?"  
Sirius nodded without diverting his attention. He finished up and stood, walking past Remus towards the door, only pausing to give his friend a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. "It is just his nature, Moony. He'll learn…someday."  
The halls were silent, most students still in bed this early on a friday. He caught a small Ravenclaw boy reading what appeared to be a muggle comic book in a corner near the sixth floor bathrooms, he had some serious dark circles under his eyes which made Sirius want to inquire, but didn't want to really talk with anyone at the present so he continued along his way to the grounds. Once outside, breathing in the cool autumn air he felt better. The sun was starting to peak over the mountains, making the lake glisten softly bathed in the golden rays. Sirius closed his eyes and focused on his surroundings. In the near distance he could hear the sound of birds waking, beginning to chirp their morning greetings, a small breeze causing the red and yellow leaves to rustle. He loved the outdoors, though he may never admit it out loud, it was true. Outside was about the only place he felt like he belonged anymore. With a sigh he opened his eyes once more and started to walk along the beaten path towards the lakeside.  
About a half mile around the south side of the lake there was a hollow, hidden out of sight from the path by a boulder. Sirius' personal space, a place he would run to when he wished to escape the real world for a while, to forget his problems. Today, however, as Sirius drew near he couldn't understand the feeling that this was not where he was supposed to be. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the unsettled anxiety that was building in his chest. Standing in front of the small hide-out, he groaned as the feeling persisted and climbed atop the rock instead. It did not erase the feeling altogether, but it did ease it slightly. He watched the water ripple along the shore not fifteen feet in front of him, wishing that he could somehow forget his dream and live unmarked. Glancing down at his wristband he was shocked to see that he had been sitting there for over forty minutes, and was now ten minutes late for breakfast. "Moony's not going to be too happy…" Sirius mumbled and dropped himself down off the cool stone. A small gust of wind and a screech caused Sirius to look up where he caught sight of Demetrium, his little sister's burrowing owl. It landed gracefully on top of the boulder where he had sat moments before and dropped a roll of parchment towards his head, side stepping out of the way, the roll hit the ground as the bird took off again. With a scowl Sy reached down and picked up the paper, and against his better judgment, Sirius opened Catalina's message. 'Sy, Moony is looking for you. He seems worried. Is everything alright?'  
To say he was taken aback would have been an understatement. Ever since Callie had gotten back from 'The Garden', where she attended schooling for nine years on father's wishes, she had been, to say the least, not the happiest person to be in acquaintance with. She moped around all day, sending post out every morning and evening to Merlin knows who. If Callie wasn't courting Remus, Sirius would think she was staying in contact with an old boyfriend the way she watched the skies for her owl, as if every letter were her life support. Towards the back of his mind he couldn't help but too often wonder what Remus saw in her. Sure, Remus and Callie had spent one month every year together when he would come with the Black's to their estate in Russia, but still, she had been a spoil sport these past four months. With a final run through of the letter, he shoved it into his pocket before taking off.  
His pace back towards the school was just under a sprint, as he turned the last bend, it was a clear shot to the front entrance. He was about to push himself to the limit at the thought of having nothing to eat until lunch, five hours from then, when he heard voices. He skid to a halt, glancing around for the source. Ducking behind the nearest pine tree, he peered out to see the History of Magic professor walking alongside someone, a student perhaps? He strained to catch a glimpse of who it might be. It was awfully early to be out for a brisk morning stroll. Sirius chuckled softly, this was Prof. Dumbledore though, who knows perhaps he was just catching a breath of fresh air. Finally managing to breathe normally again, Sirius tried once again, this time the stranger had fallen just behind step and came into view.  
"SISSY!..." Sirius whipped around to face the front doors of the castle where he saw his sister sprinting towards the on-comers. "…you're here, you're here, you're really here!" Sirius watched her progression, with open mouthed astonishment. He hadn't seen her move that fast since she tried out for quidditch at the beginning of the year. As she made it within arm's reach of the two, Callie flailed herself at the stranger hurling them both towards the ground, her arms around the person. Utterly confused as to the happenings of the last few minutes, Sirius could not bring himself to do much more then stare and strain to hear if anything was being said. He saw Prof. Dumbledore chuckle and his sister stand and help the poor sod up off the ground, and as Sirius' luck would go, once again out of view.  
"Padfoot!" Sirius jumped in surprise and whipped around to see James coming towards him, a huge grin playing on his relaxed features. Not wanting to be found out, Sirius stealthily moved back into the safety of the foliage without a glance to the trio, approaching his bifocaled friend with a smirk.  
"What are you doin' out here? I figured you would have been in the Great Hall having breakfast with ." He couldn't manage to keep the aggravation out of his voice, but luckily his mate didn't seem to notice as he answered Sy's inquiry.  
"Already did. I decided to catch a quick flight about the grounds before Herbology. The real question should be, what are you doing creepin about the forbidden forest? Especially without me?"  
Peering out into the clearing, he saw that the subject of his interest had dissapeared and sirius frowned. He closed his eyes in annoyance and sighed heavily before turning back to his friend. "Sorry, Jamie...just needed some air. Let's get to class."

Callie lay in bed, already dressed and awake, staring intently at the clock on her bedstand table. "oh do hurry up time..." She whispered harshly. With a sigh she lay back and focused her attention on the ceiling. After a few seconds she turned back to the clock and groaned. "come on!" She clamped her hand over her mouth.  
"Black, go be a freak somewhere else will you? It's too freaking early for your nonsense!" Sharon O'breion ordered from the bed next to her's.  
Callie smirked slightly and shook her head, knowing she couldn't be seen behind her black bed drapes. It was too early to be wondering about the corridors, and she knew for certain all her waiting would be in vain if she landed a detention before breakfast.  
"Now, Black!" Sharon yelled, causing groans and mumbles to come from the other girls, who were still trying to sleep.  
Sticking her tongue out in silent protest to her dormmate's bossiness, Callie slipped out of the dorm and into the Slytherin common room. "bitch..." looking around she noticed an upperclassmen boy sitting at the worktable, reading by the dim light of a candle, and smiled. She tried her best to sneak up behind him, but before she could even come within fourteen feet of the boy, he called out. "exiled again, Catalina?" His voice was soft but she could still hear the smirk in his words. She crossed her arms over her chest and ungracefully fell onto the couch beside her.  
"Again implies that is has happened before. I left willingly, Severus."


End file.
